FREE ESSAY ON TODAY'S MALE

TODAY'S MALE

Introduction: Socialization
For the most part, societies (a group of people which have common traditions, interests
and institutions) have a large impact on the development of gender. Children grow up to
learn from their parents, their neighbor, the baker down the road and it is this
understanding of the world which constructs their lives. There is socialization in
general (the learning that neophytes do in order to become functioning members of
society), and [there is] gender socialization in particular (the processes through which
people learn to be feminine and masculine) (Mackie, 1987:74). This research paper will
deal with men in three fundamental areas of their lives: work, intimate relationships and
family. To do this, the paper will only deal with men who have gone through socialization
in general and who are in the changing process of gender socialization.
An infant or child has a crucial need for experience with other human beings for its
survival as a physical being and its development as a social being (Mackie, 1987:77). In
most societies, for the large part, males have grown up learning or expected to be a
dominant figure, one with the power and independence (Doyle, 1989:108). In today's modern
society, males are not only affected by family, friends or neighbors; they are now
heavily influenced by other mediums, such as, TV, music, movies, sports, books (fairy
tales), and magazines. These are but a few influences which help shape the modern male.
Men in the Workplace:
Work occupies on average 40 hours a week, it therefore plays a considerably large role in
peoples' lives. The Feminist movement showed, along with other issues, that it was the
environment and structure of the workplace, which affected society a great deal. The
Feminist movement highlighted the harsh reality of gender inequality in our society.
Consequently, there seems to be an overwhelming consensus that males dominate, and have
always dominated in the workplace. The reason for this unbalanced structure, as James
Doyle suggests, seems to have validity when one looks at male's extreme sense of
competitiveness. Competition and winning are considered masculine characteristics in our
society (Doyle, 1989:168). However, competition allows for only one winner. This
competitive spirit forces men to think that everything of value and worth in the world is
limited or comes in fixed quantities (Doyle, 1989:169). If men grow up learning that
competition and independence (as mentioned earlier) is masculine, then having a job and
providing, validates men. Men will compete at all costs to provide the best for his
family. Being a good provider stipulates that the more goods a male provides for his
family's material well-being, the more successful (that is, masculine) he is (Doyle,
1989:173). Perhaps males assertion of masculinity through their job is a defense, a way
of insisting on the exclusion of women to protect specific jobs and more general job
skills from increased competition (women) (Nelson & Robinson, 1995:183). Men not only
have to compete with other males, but now have to compete with women at the workplace,
this in turn applies tremendous pressure on today's male. Because of this pressure,
politics, sexuality, family responsibilities, and intimate relationships between the two
genders have become more tenuous.
Males in Intimate Relationships:
Men do not want to lose at their job and they bring this mentality into their intimate
relationships. This makes men less likely to express their feelings; he would be weak or
unmanly if he did so. If men view themselves as independent, then he is less practised at
recognizing others', and consequently his own emotions (Buchbinder, 1987:55). For many
men, sex focuses these feelings and becomes the only manner of expressing them
(Buchbinder, 1987:55). 
Relationships today are demanding, they are to be equal in all aspects; men are asked to
be more expressive, have more involvement in childcare (as we will see later), and
equality in domestic work (Buchbinder, 1987:60). In fact, husbands generally have more
power and influence in a marriage than wives do (Doyle, 1989:246). Although men have more
power, many men feel compelled to 'bad mouth' marriage, often with fellow married friends
(Doyle, 1989:248). Despite this apparent inconsistency, men seem to benefit from
relationships more than do women (Doyle, 1989:248). According to Doyle, there are several
benefits from an intimate relationship. The three obvious ones are: the husband gains the
services of someone--the wife--to cook, clean, and do the daily chores around the house;
the wife acts as a kind of socioemotional bridge between her husband and others; and
physical health care (Doyle, 1989:248-9). Simon Davis reiterates this point in his essay,
Men as Success Objects and Women as Sex Objects: A Study of Personal Advertisement; an
exchange process may be in operation, wherein a trade-off is made with women offering
'domestic work and sex for financial support' (Nelson & Robinson, 1995:250) Men have
been, and for a large part still are, socialized to bring in the money, whereas women
have been, and still partially are, socialized to take care of the children at home. This
unjust socialization in general of the two genders, results with an economic dependence
on the male. Further still, the effect of this inequality [that is, women's desire to
work outside the home and earn money] is the primary cause of marriage break down
(Buchbinder, 1987:52).
Males in the Family:
The best way to start this section is to use the words of Ralph LaRosa: 
The consensus of opinion in American society is that something 
has happened to American fathers. Long considered minor players in 
the affairs of their children, today's fathers often are depicted 
as major parental figures, people who expected to--people who 
presumably want to-- be there when their kids need them.
Unlike their own fathers or grandfathers, many are prone to say.
(Nelson & Robinson, 1995:365 [emphasis in original])
Most research shows that in the past, men were seen as a protectors and providers, but
they now are expected to be more involved in the dynamics of the family. The notion that
a father played anything more than a 'peripheral' role in his children's socioemotional
development seemed quite absurd (Doyle, 1989:254). Dinah Forbes claims that the reason
for today's fathers' increased involvement in childcare is, for the most part, due to the
extremely influential movement of Feminism (Buchbinder, 1987:60). Having the two parents
involved in a child's upbringing becomes an extremely important force in [its']
development (Doyle, 1989:254). But LaRosa states, fatherhood is different today than it
was in prior times but, for the most part, the changes that have occurred are centered in
the culture rather than in the conduct of fatherhood (Nelson & Robinson, 1995:375). In
LaRosa & LaRosa's study (1981) of the transition to parenthood, they found that the
father's levels of engagement, accessibility, and responsibility were only a fraction of
the mothers', and that fathers tended to spend a greater part of their caregiving time
playing with their children (Nelson & Robinson, 1995:371). Men seem to think playing
catch or swinging their kids will do the job but, often this is not enough. [Men see]
fatherhood as a job and that while [they were] 'there' in body, [they are] someplace else
in spirit (Nelson & Robinson, 1995:371).
Implications and Conclusion:
One of the factors encouraging for change in a father's role in his child's care has been
the large numbers of wives who have entered the paid employment force, making it
essential that husbands and fathers share more child care responsibilities (Doyle,
1989:254) One reason for the larger number of wives entering the job market is the
insufficient income of a single wage. 
The consequences of one gender having control in most aspects of contemporary life from
building codes, tax laws and health care plans to access to the labor market and wage
levels, are absolutely absurd (Nelson & Robinson, 1995:181). The implication for this
statement is the need for gender equality. This has been made obvious by Feminists world
wide, although the Movement began with a strong general agreement of sexual
dissatisfaction among women. However, as long as men view Feminism and its movement as a
challenge, then it is hopeless. In other words, men have to want to change. While this
may hold true, changes have begun during which men seem to be getting pushed along, and
may continue to view it as something that just has to be done. Men have much to lose; his
independence and self worth are at stake (Buchbinder, 1987:12). If this is true, he will
then be less apt to changes. Males have become accustomed to having this power and sense
of autonomy, and as some may say these feminists come along and expect to change things
so quickly. 
Although there is, in fact, inequality between genders, we can conclude that there is a
desire and need for change. Equality is not, as Forbes argues, simply a matter of
reorganizing [the] practical responsibilities. It also involves reorganizing
responsibility for the emotional work of developing and maintaining an intimate
relationship (Buchbinder, 1987:61). Equality at the individual level will flourish and
thus take effect with the outer levels, such as the workplace. Males must demonstrate as
much compassion and willingness as women do for the male/female relationship, or there
will be no change.
Bibliography
Buchbinder, H. 1987. Who's On Top?: The Politics of Heterosexuality. Toronto: Garamond
Press.
Doyle, James. 1989. The Male Experience. 2d ed. Dubuque, Iowa: Wm. C. Brown.
Mackie, M. 1987. Constructing Women & Men: Gender Socialization. Toronto: Holt, Rinehart
and Winston of Canada.
Nelson, E.D. & Robinson, B.W. 1995. Gender in the 1990s: Images, Realities, and Issues.
Scarborough, Ontario: International Thomson Publishing.