FREE ESSAY ON OF HOW MUCH VALUE

OF HOW MUCH VALUE

Younger 
September 21, 2000
English (Sec.7) 
Of How Much Value
Sara stares at the clock and counts each second that goes by. Every minute means on more
minute of grief. She is not sure why she feels so down. She cannot understand why her own
image of herself is so unattractive. Sara suffers from depression. Depression is a
disease that causes a chemical imbalance in the brain resulting in a melancholy mood.
This disease is a very young disease. It has only recently become known as a disease.
These are all the things that had to be explained to Sara during her visit to the doctor,
or in other words, a psychiatrist. She had been lacking a positive self-concept for years
and has now decided that it is time to take care of it. Sara feels much anxiety and the
fact that she is going to a psychiatrist at the age of seventeen makes her feel even more
stressed out. She is very nervous long before it is time for her to attend the doctor's
office. Sara's visit is successful. She leaves the office with a new vision of her life.
Sara keeps a journal of each day's events. She tells about what happened and then how she
responded to it. She also writes little poems that describe her moods. She only shares
six of her journal entries out of thousands. Each one is personal to her, but she is
willing to share six because they could help others understand themselves better. 
Today was just another dull day. David, the guy who I really like,
Would not even look at me. I really do not understand why I am 
on this earth at all. My existence means nothing to anyone.
None of my friends value our friendship nearly as much as I do. 
What is my purpose? Where do I belong?
Sara is on the downside of her disease. She is in the depths of it. She looks upon the
world as though she is not apart of it. She watches events and people evolve around her
but never becomes the nucleus. Sara does not know herself. In her mind, she is an
unidentifiable person. Sara once said, "I have no trust left in me." Some would take that
comment for what it is worth, but Sara means for it to go much deeper then just the
words. 
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell
Blue Skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil
Do you think you can tell
Did they get you trade
Your heroes for ghosts
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze
Cold comfort for change
Did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage
How I wish, how I wish you were here
Were just two lost souls 
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
How we found the same old fears
Wish you were here
-Pink Floyd-
Sara has had a tendency to write this song on everything she obtains, from her paper back
books to a napkin in a restaurant. The song constantly sticks in her mind reminding her
of her dreaded state of mind.
To whom it may concern:
Why must I live?
Why must I be here?
Take me away
To a place of reverence
I want to be happy
I want to be free
I want not to feel dread
I want to feel calm
I want the weather to be warm and comforting
I want to not be bundled up as I am in my own mind and body
Warmth shall set me free
Light shall heal my wounds
This dark only opens each wound further
Take me away to delight.
Sara's depression usually takes itself to a worse state when it is wintertime. When she
does not receive proper light from the sun her disease affects her more.
I have found myself in my own little world
I feel as though I am another soul
I have been taken aback from the evil spirit
It lifts me to a new horizon
I shall fly high to the bright, open skies
I am free to begin a new life.
Sara took herself to a doctor and was prescribed medicine that was to take away all her
horrible feelings. She would look at her life in a whole new way when given this miracle
drug. She asked the doctor if it was considered unfair to take such a medicine. This
medicine would make her feel happier without any doing on her own part. Her doctor told
her that if he had allergy medicine, and if he had asthma he would take an inhaler, and
that this was no different.
Shine on you Crazy Diamond
-Pink Floyd
Taking Care of Business
-Bachman/Turner Overdrive
Satisfaction
-Rolling Stones
Free Falling
-Tom Petty
Songs mean everything to Sara, and she relates many of her feelings to different songs
she is familiar with. She lets her emotions flow with music. Music is something that she
feels inside.
Today was an exciting day. I asked David to go out
On the weekend and he was thrilled that I finally
asked him. I got an A on everything I got back from my
teachers and my friends could not get enough of me
Sara's life was changed by the medication she was given. This is not to say that
medication is the key to a happy life, but is to portray that when a person does
something productive with what they feel they will usually end up with more successful
results than if they just watch each day. There is one life to live and you have to live
it in peace with yourself. Peace with your own self will enable you to have positive
relationships with others. Depression is an unfortunate disease to deal with but there
are ways to cope with it. Depression does not finalize a person's well being. It is not a
life sentence, unless you leave it alone instead of finding alternative ways to cope with
it. Most importantly, Sara has conquered depression, an incurable disease.