FREE ESSAY ON MY DAWG

MY DAWG

OK... I'm going to ask you to listen very carefully. I'm going to be real straight forward
here and I don't want you to think there is any underlying feelings here so take this
word for word. The second worst thing you could do to me is not talk to me. The absolute
worst thing you could do to me is not talk to me because u think I'm mad at you. I
understand you think that I'm "bitter" about this but you're wrong. I guess you're not
trying to talk to me about what happened between you and mike because u think I'll get
mad or upset or you think it will hurt me. Actually you not talking to me about whats
going on IS what is really making me so upset. You are compromising my integrity by
thinking (after all the conversations we've had about this) that I would be upset at YOU
about your decision to stay with mike. That makes me think, that you think, that I am
just that shallow. You have to talk to me. I don't care how. I have so much respect for
your painstaking decision that you had to make about this, and I've told u time after
time that I wanted you to do whatever made you most happy. Even though (and I told myself
I wasn't gonna say this) it really sucks for me.
Another thing... we talked every night for about two weeks for hours on end, which did
mean a lot to me... Then one day I get a 4 line E-mail that just scares and confuses the
hell out of me. I send out a novel and don't hear from your for a week. I still haven't
heard from you. Now I know you've been sick and I'm NOT mad. I just want you to know that
the last week that I haven't talked to you has really sucked for that reason. I have no
idea if you miss me or not and I have to assume that you don't because you've made no
attempt to talk to me. Right now I think you just want me to go away so you can just move
on with mike or whatever. I don't understand how making you happy and smile so much which
I thought I was doing (even that has come into question) would provoke you to not try and
talk to me for a week. I want you to know that I miss you. And I know that we had some
good conversations in spite of the whole mike thing... and we will have more, possibly
better ones if you will just try and talk to me. This is my last resort. I'm extending
this branch out to you. I can't do this much longer and to try and stop thinking about
you is about my last option after this... A man has to sleep after all. My purpose here
was to not make you feel sorry for me or this situation but to let you know how I feel
since you obviously don't want to tell me how you feel. Someone has to spill their guts
first to make whatever relationship we seemed to have had work. If you don't get back to
me in a couple of days - 2 or 3 - I will have no choice but to just not try to reach out
to you anymore. I don't like that thought and I would hope you wouldn't either
considering how much fun we have together and the fact that we SEEMED to make each other
happy. And maybe me making you happy is what this is all about... maybe you don't know
how to deal with that. I don't know but maybe you should do me some justice and think
about that. I wont take up any more of your time Alyssa. I had to do something and this
was it. I'll understand if you just return the sweatshirt to me. I know this has been
real hard on you lately and I'm not trying to put any stress on you. I just don't want
you to just forget about me. That is my biggest fear! And I know you know why. I'm not
mad. I'm not elated either but I'm not mad... at you anyway. Maybe there was something I
could have done different... I don't know. I guess ill never know. 
Nothing but love girl and hopefully ill talk to u later.
Steve