FREE ESSAY ON ALCOHOL WARNINGS

ALCOHOL WARNINGS

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as: 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an *censored*. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over
again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying
for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your
pants. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember). 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the
forehead. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer
and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. 
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. 
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the space-time continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.